Sunday morning began the same way it always does, lazing around in front of the computer giving rest to the ass which had been working hard all week. As I browsed through the “YouTube Recommends For You” page, I sat back as I played the first video on the list. And sugary sweetness played on my screen for the next 5 minutes. I shamelessly hit the replay button to hear the sounds of “Baby, baby, baby, ohh”, while convincing myself that I was watching it because of Ludacris and not the copper-blonde kid. The next couple of days were filled with talks of the new eye candy in our school and the Beiber fever spread like wildfire. But as a forest guard would know, that every wildfire leaves ashes in its wake. As the craze for the new pop-sensation cooled down a bit, hatred started pouring in, mostly from boys all over the world. Sad jealous boys. Now Beiber on the other hand started actually believing that he’s as awful as people said he is. So he tried an age old recipe used by pop and R&B artistes. He became black. Yes you heard me, and I’m not being racist. Since R&B and hip hop were invented by the first Afro-American settlers In the U.S.A. it has mostly been their monopoly and whenever they collaborate mostly there is just one sad shade i.e.-BLACK. Famous collaborations include girl band “Destiny’s Child”, and the new Jay-Z and Kanye West duo. Of course there are exceptions including The Black Eyed Peas, but the group is an evolved form of a hip-hop group called Atban Klann which again happens to be- yes, all black. Now coming back to JB. The poor kid was so disappointed by the fact that half the world hated him, he didn’t realize that he was reigning king on youtube and 2nd on Twitter only next to Lady Gaga. Beiber had started believing that if he wasn’t under some more talented artistes’ wing then he wouldn’t succeed. Thus the decision to collaborate on his 2nd single with his new godfather, Usher. Thus the saga continues. Every time he collaborates with some one black he peaks at Billboard. Thus came Usher, Ludacris, Boyz II Men, Mariah Carey, Sean Kingston, Drake, Jaden Smith and the list continues. Then came the proposal to Rihanna. The poor guy had finally started losing it. But that didn’t stop his next album “Under The Mistletoe” from breaking sales records again. But amidst all the hatred and the paternity tests and the name calling and the leaked pictures with Selena Gomez, little boy blue did what most jealous and untalented people could not. He became famous at 16. Ok, now I don’t want to disappoint all the Justin Beiber haters out there, even though we know that he’ll be as hot as Ricky Martin in 10 odd years and most probably share the same fate as he did( for all those people who didn’t get the Ricky Martin gibe please feel free to use Google). Lets get down to some bitching! Now the most awited question of the year- When will Beiber die? 2012? Why not? Just that we will be so busy dying ourselves that we probably wont have the time to relish it. If not the apocalypse maybe he could follow the likes of Amy Winehouse and join the 27 club. Then I guess it’s a nine year wait. I can already hear the clock go tick-tok!

-Debabrata Das

A Minerva M Writer

Visit us at